Day 2 Ingestion of Cholera Vibrios

Today was the big day. After a terrible night of sleep and fasting since midnight, they came into my room this morning at around 9am to take a blood sample and give me one last chance to run; to run and never look back. Being the masochist I am, I decided to stay.  Next I was herded into a small common room with the 9 other participants who will be gambling the well being of their bowels along with me.  It was at this point in the day that the doctors here in the General Research Clinic confirmed for me what I have always known. I am #1. More specifically #001.

#1 Bitches

Back to the science. First I was required to drink around 4 ounces of a baking soda and saline solution in order to neutralize my stomach acid.  We wouldn't want any of this incredibly dangerous bacteria to be destroyed by my stomach acid after all. Next I was given about 2 ounces of a second fluid, this one containing the dreaded live Cholera Bacteria.  We were all instructed to drink this at the same time after which we were required to remain in this common room for 90 minutes so that we could be monitored.  On the plus side they did put on the Princess Bride for us to watch, which any sane person knows is arguably the best movie of all time.  Before it didn't take long at all for my stomach to begin gurgling and making noises, this was somewhat terrifying as this is listed as a typical first symptom of cholera, although I realized shortly after that I had been fasting since midnight the night before and this could just as easily be my ill timed reminder that I really needed to eat.  After the 90 minutes was up I was allowed to return to my room and order lunch.

Best Meal Yet

Today's lunch consisted of salmon grilled with pesto, a side of mashed potatoes and gravy, a garden salad with italian dressing and of course a pudding with a lemonade to drink.  Current pudding tally 3. This meal was delicious, the salmon was well cooked and not dry and the mashed potatoes were delicious. I'd highly recommend this to anyone staying in a Fletcher Allen inpatient facility.  Although the portion looks small, I was pretty content after finishing it and let me remind you, I can order food as often as I want between 7am and 8pm, fo' FREE.  After this meal I naturally watched some price is right, Drew Carey is no Bob Barker but damn has he lost some weight. Next I caught up on the most recent 3 episodes of New Girl, and I would like to take this opportunity to give this show my FULL ENDORSEMENT. I often find myself cracking up while watching it.

Until I ate this. New best meal yet.

The next thing I knew it was already around 3pm and I figured I should makeup for the lost time not eating this morning so I ordered a chicken cesar salad with a side of applesauce (I really wanted another pudding but I feel the room service staff will start judging me soon). This was again delicious and a much larger serving than anything I've ordered so far.  The chicken was still very hot and the whole thing was just great.

Due to popular request I will also be uploading a picture of myself that I will take every morning, a read leather chair in the background is a good sign, while a sign reading "DO NOT FLUSH" behind me will be a bad sign as an indication of my current state.  This will also be fun as it will allow me to track beard growth from day to day as I came in hear yesterday a clean shaven man.

Tonight I ordered a chicken and black bean quesadilla with sour cream and salsa, a small plate of bruschetta, a garden side salad with balsamic vinaigrette dressing, some baked potato chips, with pineapple juice and of course a pudding. bringing my current pudding tally to 4. The bruschetta was decent although the serving size was practically non-existent.  The quesadilla on the other hand was one of the largest servings I have had thus far although I was disappointed with the amount of actual chicken present. The balsamic vinaigrette was a pleasant change from the Italian dressing, although I'm not yet sure which one I liked more. Time will tell.  All and all the chicken caesar is still the best meal I have had thus far.

For those of you curious about the apparatus used to catch my specimen just keeping scrolling down to the bottom of the page, and keep in mind they are saving EVERYTHING that comes out of my body, even today when I was seemingly in perfect health all day long.  By the way I held steady with some more type 3 movements today. Don't forget to use the Bristol Stool Scale as a reference to track my bowel movements.

Supposedly holds 40oz of fluid....Maybe I can bring a couple home for drinking games?

These are referred to as hats and catch any fecal matter that leaves my body. The worst part about them so far is since nothing drops into the water, the small bathroom quickly fills with the smell of excrement. I do not envy the nurses who have to come collect this from me on a daily basis.

Seriously though, anyone up for a game of Edward 40 Hats?

I'm Pooped.